Mindset work is not something you finish
You know the feeling. I’m sure you’ve felt it multiple times this year, this month, this week!
You look at your prices and suddenly they feel completely made up. Someone pays you and instead of feeling good, you feel like a fraud. You don't hit a goal and within about thirty seconds your brain has decided you're just not cut out for this. Or you're back, again, in that spiral of "why isn't this working, what's wrong with me, maybe I should just charge less."
And the worst part? You've done the work. You've read the books. You’ve been in all the communities. You've journaled yourself into oblivion. You know this stuff.
So why does it keep coming back?
What I really wish everyone understood is…that it coming back is not evidence that you're failing at mindset work. It is what mindset work actually is.
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The word "mindset" has become such a cliché in the online coaching world that people either roll their eyes at it or treat it like a destination. As if there's a version of you on the other side of enough courses and enough journalling who just doesn't have these thoughts anymore. Who prices with total confidence every time. Who never makes a slow month mean something terrible about herself. I mean really - who never has a slow month at all!
But that version doesn't exist. And chasing her is part of what keeps you stuck.
The example I like to use is meditation.
Most people think they're bad at meditation because their mind keeps wandering. But your mind wandering is not a sign you are doing meditation wrong - that is literally the practice. You notice your mind has wandered, you bring it back. It wanders again. You bring it back again. Over and over, without a finish line. You're not trying to achieve an empty mind. You're training the noticing.
Mindset work is the same thing. You're not going to reach a point where you never doubt your prices again. You are building your noticing muscles, growing your ability to catch yourself doubting — and question it. To go: hang on, is that true? Or is that a lie I've been told so many times it feels like truth?
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That's actually how I think about all of it now. The imposter syndrome. The pricing paralysis. The way you shrink yourself online. The voice that says who do you think you are. Truths and lies.
And the lies, they did not come from you. They came from internalised misogyny and the societal conditioning that has been, quite deliberately, telling women and marginalised people for centuries that there is not enough space, not enough money, not enough room at the table for them specifically.
That's what makes it so hard to shake. It doesn't feel like a lie someone told you. It feels like a truth you arrived at yourself.
The practice is not about reaching a point where it stops coming. It's about getting faster at catching it when it does.
Not in a toxic positivity way — not “just flip it and think good thoughts.” More like: every time you notice the lie, you turn the light on. You jump into the thought and go: hang on, is that actually true? Or is that the world talking?
The lie that there isn't enough — not enough clients, not enough space at the top, not enough room for you specifically. The lie that your worth is tied to your output. The lie that wanting more is delusional, or greedy, or getting ahead of yourself. The lie that when something doesn't sell, it means something about you.
These weren't your original thoughts. They were given to you. And the impact of them is completely real, just like a lie told about you by someone else can damage a relationship even though it wasn't true. The untruth doesn't protect you from the consequence of believing it.
So when you miss a goal and your brain goes straight to "I'm shit at this" THAT is a lie. An easily believed, deeply conditioned, very well-practised lie. But a lie.
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The weird thing about this type of practice - You're often not going to feel very certain about it.
When you're tired, or low, or just having a bad week, the lie comes faster and sticks harder. You won't feel the truth in those moments. But you can know it, even when you can't feel it.
I think about it like being ill. When you've got a horrible flu, you can't really remember what it felt like to feel well. You start to wonder if you're going to feel like this forever. But you know you're not. You've got enough experience of your own life to hold that truth even when your body won't cooperate.
Same with winter. It can genuinely feel like spring is never coming. But you know it is. You know if you keep putting one foot in front of the other, it will come.
That's what this practice builds over time: not never feeling it again but a shortening of the gap between the thought and believing it. The ability to be in the ditch and know it's a ditch - not your whole world.
Because before I did this work, when I found myself in a ditch, I thought it was my whole world. Now I know there's a massive world outside of it. And I know I'll get back there. Even when I can't feel it yet.
That's the practice. That's all it is.
And every time it comes back (and it will come back) you're not starting from zero. You're simply building muscle memory.
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Exciting things coming on all of this very soon! Watch this space.
